Hiatus

.... a pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process.

Well I've been out of the blogging world for a little while now. Reading back through some of my old posts, I don't even believe it was me writing all those things. 

I've recently been inspired, thanks to alot of people. Going through my instagram, facebook and other means of sharing life events via the Internet, I noticed something. People are doing things and I love that we have the Internet to share all of them! Whether it is having babies (which is blowing up my news feed right now), getting promotions, working out and making money with it, writing books, starting businesses, traveling, producing music and/or short films, speaking at conferences, graduating with a masters degree, adopting pets and/or babies, buying houses, making amazing cakes, creating hilarious YouTube Videos, winning instagram awards, getting married.... and the list goes on. When I scroll through one news feed to the next - I can almost be overwhelmed at how much people are doing and growing and changing! 

Sometimes after a long scrolling, I am like... "Well, I worked really hard at my job this week and I will enjoy a glass of wine after I do the laundry and then will meal plan for the week. Oh, I also completed the bi weekly budget for my husband and I, while we try to break free from school loans..." 

....Isn't that enough? 

Now, this could be (and most likely is) my insecurities, that I would like to think most people develop when looking through social media. It could also be my inability to make what I do on a day to day bases look as cool as everyone else. What is that filter on instagram that everyone uses and automatically looks cool.... VOSCAM, VOSICAN?? 

The bottom line is, insecurities or inability to look cool - I'm sure I'm not alone. 

So, this blog is a place where myself and others can be Audacious. We can share opinions on TV shows, critique the easiness of a recipe, review a movie that sucked or made us cry for hours, come up with some great wine club topics and whatever else....  Whether you just bought a house, published a novel, are traveling, became a mom or are working full time... all are welcomed to share their opinions here. ... I can't wait to hear them!

My blog will consist of what I think of TV shows, food, restaurants, wine, crafts, people, movies, current events and I guess, other life things. I'm sure I'll fill you in on me every now and then. 

Latest Update: It's almost 8:00, I'm finishing my glass of wine, watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and going to bed. If I feel real adventurous, I'll bust out the chips and salsa. :) 

So, I'm back. 

I've forgotten how much I enjoy writing. 

I'll be back with my first review this week. 

- Hales

The End, Conclusion, Wrapping Up, Finale.

Today is kind of a big deal in my little life. Today is my last day being employed at Liberty University. I know it's really not that big of a deal... but being the over-dramatic person I am, it is a big deal. I am happy to say I have found a job and I am more than confident I will love it! I cannot wait to join Virginia Eye Clinic and HIS Ministry. I will help manage most of the marketing and public relations for VEC and I will be conducting public relations, event coordinating and networking with HIS Ministry. In all honesty, I have no idea what all that practicality looks like- but I can say, I am thrilled to be joining the team and so thankful the Lord has provided me with a wonderful job!
  
I start on Monday.

I am not walking. But my roomie let me borrow her stuff! :]

Those of you who know me, are most likely thinking- wait, I'm sorry, WHAT? You're staying in Lynchburg? And my answer to your question is, yes, for now! I can say the Lord has truly been working on my heart this year and through many unexpected turn of events- here, in little Lynchburg, I will stay.

I do have a few fears about staying here:

1. Developing a Southern accent. When I go home, to the North, I would greatly appreciate it if you could continue to make fun of me and bring to my attention any type of southern drawl I may have developed. [But please stop making fun of my love of Sweet Tea. It's really good. okay?]

2. My driving skills. While I have lived here my skills have been declining. I am so frightened that I will continue developing bad driving habits and start yielding before I get on the highway and I will never drive with my lights on.

3. I will view the grocery store as a leisure activity. You Northerners know Wal-Mart/Kroger are not the places to catch up with an old friend, talk on your cell phone, or go to just 'hang out.' The people here do not really think of the grocery store the same way we do. I have caught myself a few times lollygagging near the baking section!!

As long as I am aware of these issues and deliberately try to work at them, I think I'll be okay.

So, this is it. This is what the end of college feels like. [Again, humor me, I am dramatic] My friend Ashleigh Brooks and I LOVED the show Gilmore Girls. We watched the last season together around my sophomore year of college. In the last episode, Rory is graduating and Logan purposes [she says no, which I still think is stupid of her] and then she says goodbye to her town and becomes a traveling journalist. My sister was Graduating college around that time and I vividly remember her saying, "Guys, this is sad! This is like my life right now!" [Two Things: I have no idea why I remember her comment. And how the HECK did Ashleigh and I get Blythe to watch Gilmore Girls??!!  She will probably be mad that I confessed that in my blog.] Now I can understand her statement, while this is all very exciting, it is sad.  As I am leaving a really wonderful chapter of my life, I am so ecstatic to begin a new one.

When I packed up my apartment I started the Seasons 8, 9 and 10 of friends... I really, really, really believe that is the best way to end something.

So as I sit here at my desk until 3:00 pm today, I will enjoy my last day and day dream of what is ahead, I’m convinced it is going to be amazing.

A couple nights ago, I found myself stressing out and second guessing all my decisions that have brought me to this point [It was after I watch the last episodes of friends- Rachel second guessed herself! It got me thinking…] I literally stumbled upon this comfort. [I thought I was reading Colossians the whole time…and then I was like, wait, this is isn’t Colossians] but I’m sure glad I found this when I did:

Happy life changes to everyone!! Enjoy them.

Trust, Forgiveness, Hope, Enjoyment.

Hi there and happy Wednesday! This morning has been so beautiful, full of sunshine and 60 degree weather, my favorite! I hope your morning has been just as lovely!

As I was journaling [Yes, I call it a journal because I feel like I am too old to say that I keep a diary] I had a thought and I think it may encourage someone else, so I am going to share. And if it doesn't encourage anyone else, maybe I will come across this post again and I will encourage me!

I know a theme within my blog has been enjoy. Enjoy life. Enjoy every aspect to every day. Enjoy the hard times and the really fun times. Lately, I have found it difficult to enjoy because I have been distracted. Sometimes, for me, it is difficult to understand that the Lord has truly forgiven me for every sin I have ever and will ever commit. After I repent, He forgives and moves forward. As wonderful as this characteristic of God is, I find it hard to recognize and live in a way that He has truly forgiven me.

As my last days at Liberty are rapidly approaching, I can say the biggest lesson I learned in college is, I can trust in my God and He will provide. He will always come through. He will always supply for my every, emotional, spiritual, physical needs. [It's pretty remarkable]

If I know the Lord will provide for my every emotional, spiritual, physical need- why do I doubt His forgiveness? I am not doing anything profitable by hanging on to guilt and living in fear. I am limiting myself and hindering my full enjoyment of life. I need to trust in God’s forgiveness and that means forgiving myself and moving forward. Trusting in His forgiveness is the best way to enjoy life. I need to trust that His model of forgiveness is the best possible way to live each moment.

 
Anyway, I am not even sure if this will make sense to anyone else, but it’s a thought I needed to find. Be encouraged that you are or can be free from your sins. You can live in the hope of the gospel and this will bring you true joy. Understanding that I deserve nothing and through Christ I have gained everything - that’s what gives me enjoyment, love and forgiveness to share from moment to moment.  - Happy Wednesday! :] 

This is for all my fellow women who are thrilled to be graduating but also a little scared to death.

It's been a long time. My life has been a whirlwind of craziness, but I am happy to report- good, fun, craziness! I went to Florida a couple weeks ago and visited my grandma, who is awesome. The entire trip was sincerely needed- I was so happy to get out of Lynchburg for a while. This weekend Katie is visiting and then next Justin and I are headed to Michigan. After that my old froomie, Nicolette is visiting and then a few short weeks later, my birthday. After that, the semester ends, graduation, wedding in Michigan and hopefully back to Lynchburg for another year with all sorts of new events! So, that's my update.

Here's my post: 

I am 22. A young, entrepreneur minded, spirited, emotional, highly opinionated and incessant planner. I  do not believe I am one of a kind and that's why I am writing this post. This is for all my fellow women who are thrilled to be graduating but also a little scared to death. I came to the conclusion that I am fearful of graduation because after that is when I really start to take responsibility for my own life. Yes, I am a hard worker and I have made some pretty decent decisions in my little 22 years. But all the decisions I am choosing after gradation- are my choices, I will be held responsible for them. I made the biggest decision of my life  after high school, I chose to go to Liberty University. This was a choice that made all decisions for me for the next four years. Now, I have no decision that will hold me captivate for four years.

Today I was reflecting on freshman year. Moving in the dorms along with 60 other girls, just about four years later and we are all on different paths. Some are married, some have children, some are still single. Others have mourned the loss of a loved one. A few are still here at Liberty and others are lost in the world trying to find the next step. Some girls suffered from sickness while others remain spiritually lost. No two stories are the same. No two girls share the same life. This got me thinking, many things can happen in four years.

As a woman I tend to get lost in the details. I over complicate things. I analyze and over analyze again. I read between the lines creating issues that do not even exist. I can be dramatic and blow situations out of proportion. And all these problems seem to double when I am job and house hunting. These qualities seem to ooze out of me as a consequence of the stress when searching for life post-graduation. Remember the whole control freak thing? This does not help during the entire planning post grad process. And sometimes I think I am the only one, does anyone else feel this way? I know they have to, but you all hide it very well!

 I've really been challenged lately, to trust something will be provided. Looking back at my life now, I made the hard decision of moving 13 hours away from home. While I was scared and cried every day for a long time the Lord faithfully provided me. He provided me with so much more than I ever needed and He will provide again. Waiting is difficult because I want him to provide for me how I want and right now. But often He will provide how He wants and in His time. So, that might mean I won't get the highest paying job or  have the most beautiful hardwood floor and spacious kitchen apartment. That might mean I will get not married in my perfect timing or I move closer to my family. It could mean I will be single for 40 years and move even further away from my family! But I can honestly say, the things in my life God took away- I know were for a purpose and even when it hurts or I'm confused or frustrated and think it is not how my life should go- He knows what my life should look like and He will provide. I have been reading through the book of  Daniel and I can see how God provides throughout the book. He took care of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. He took care of Daniel. He (eventually) provided for King Nebuchadanezzer to be rescued. Before the King is restored he said,

"...and I blessed the Most High, and praised and honored him who lives forever, for his dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom endures from generation or generation; all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, "What have you done?" ....for all His works are right and his ways are just and those who walk in pride he is able to humble."

I know he will take care of me. It just may not look like how I envisioned.

In the Bible Study I go to we are reading a book by Nancy Demoss. And in this book she asked questions to inspire self reflection, I have listed a couple that really got me thinking:

1. Am I purposeful and intentional in my use of time seeking to invest the moments of my days in ways that I will bring glory to God? 
2. Do I habitually verbalize the goodness and greatness of God? 
3. Do I speak works that are critical, unkind, untrue, self-centered, rude, profane or unnecessary? 
4. Am I content with the material resources God has given me? (This was big one for me)
5. Am I disciplining my mind to get to know God and his word better?

As I tend to get caught up in everything with planning and stressing, I often forget to remember how much the Lord has provided for me. When something seems to not work out- I go into panic mode. I am really working at training my mind and heart to have a thankful spirit. [I'm pretty sure that will be a life-long training] No matter what happens, I know the Lord is in control. And just because I don't have the 'next step' figured out yet- doesn't mean God doesn't. Again, like every other post, I am working on enjoying. Enjoying the time of the unknown. Enjoying and getting excited to see how the Lord will provide for me next. Enjoying the last months of my life now, because in May- it will all change. 

So, that's where I am right now. I hope wherever you are in life, you are enjoying. I hope you are not too lost in the unknown and not getting to upset about broken plans. You will be taken care of. You will be provided for. Here are some verses that have guided me through this process:

Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. - Ps. 27:14

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth visible and invisible, where thrones of dominions or rulers and authorities- all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things and in him all things hold together. - Col. 1:16-17

Its been FOREVER.

So, I've been away from the blogger world, for any of you who read regularly (Keri Cook) I am sorry. My life has been filled with many events and craziness. I am happy (and slightly sad) to say my life has slowed down. Today I have been working on my resume and a few other things. I wanted you to have a look and if you think it is good, pass it along to anyone you know! 

Sorry about the quality, I had reformat them. If I learned one thing the past couple of months, it's that Macs are 10 billion times better than PCs. Like, seriously. People who want to argue that have to of never use a mac before. Or they haven't taken the time to learn how an Apple works, for real. It's worth the extra ca$h.

Also, I loathe shopping for plane tickets. I promise to write more soon! Feel free to give me some feedback!

Before I lose Focus... AGAIN.

So, I figured something out about myself this weekend. Shocker right? When will I know everything and never make mistakes again? When people?! :] 

I cannot stay focused.

I'm not talking about ADD or ADHD [Are those the same?]. I'm talking about real focus. I know I wrote about this before, but here I am wrestling with the same thing again, self-centeredness. [Is that a word?]

My family had a family verse growing up [Pastor's kids] it was something like, "Do not be focused on your own interests, but be focused on the interests of others." I remember once this summer I tried to quote it and totally messed it up I said something like, "Only look upon your own interest not the interest of others." ....and I WISH that's what the verse said!! You would think after 22 years of one family verse, I would remember it. [I guess that's a parenting lesson in itself.]

The type of focus I am talking about has really nothing to do with that verse, but it's a good thought. :] [Insert fun family memory there.   Check.]

How often do I live a day thinking about myself? What I can accomplish, what mistakes I made, what messes I need to clean up, what relationships I need to fix, what meetings I need to attend, what wrongs I have done... and so on.

Lately I have found myself overcome by fear and worry. Why? Well, I think part of it is the phase of life I'm in, alot of things are changing. And  because I am focusing so much on ME.

But, why am I focusing on myself? Why am I depending upon myself? Why am I staring at my failures and faults? Why am I living as though God has made a mistake in planning my life? Do I really need to take ahold of my life and worry and plan and fix things because God isn't taking care of things?

I have lost focus. When I focus on ME, everything seems really scary. When I focus on my strength, everything seems impossible. When I allow my sin to slap me in the face, It begins to reign.

But, when I focus on Him. God's love, mercy, justice, grace and perfection, everything seems to be okay. Why do I worry? Why am I fearful? Because I am thinking about ME. [UGH. So self-centered.]

 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? ...... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [[Matthew 6]]

And for the days you can't stop worrying: 

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober casting all your spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.  [1 Peter 5]

And: "Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." [Colossians 3]

Off I go to open my planner and get my day moving. Here's for trying to stay focused and trying to be a little less self oriented. Happy Monday... and stop worrying! [In case you didn't catch it the first time... it doesn't add a single hour to your life! annnnnd you're not in control anyway :] ] 

Blah, Blah, Blah.. South and North

As everything is finishing up for the semester, I have found myself reflecting on the idea of finishing. This is my fourth Christmas here, in Lynchburg Virginia. I assumed moving down here in 2008 this would be my last one, actually I thought I would have been out of here by now [that's for sure], but here I am, still here.

Many of my college friends and colleagues graduated this semester. Those friends who suffered through COMS 489, created campaigns with me, brainstormed and bounced ideas of each other, compared and contrasted each other projects, many of them are now gone. I'm happy for them, like I am happy for myself.. finishing up college with an Undergraduate degree, not only feels great, but is a wonderful accomplishment!! [Yay us! And everyone else with degrees!]  I'm proud of myself and so proud of my fellow classmates! [Who I hope to run into often in the PR world].

The point of all this rambling...[I think] is things end. Seasons fade. Time transitions. Life is different. It is so weird to think, although I have been here for four Christmas breaks, each one of them has looked different, felt different and has been an entirely different experience. It's just strange to me. And the even stranger thing is that time will only continue to make life more different. Life will begin to look, feel, and be entirely different.

I think part of it might be 'growing up' and part of it might be I am maturing [a little] and part of it might be I gain more and more responsibility each year...but I know part of it, well, a lot of it is change. That is the one guarantee in life isn't it? Change. I think I am only getting used to it though, because I know it happens so frequently- I need to enjoy the moment and time I have, because it will change. So, for me this means, I need to hurry up and enjoy. Sometimes, I don't enjoy enough! I analyze, think, reflect, re-analyze, double check, over-analyze, question, wonder, ponder, think some more, and then before I know it I missed out on enjoying! I was far too busy wondering about the what if's and details that I forgot to enjoy the moment! [Seriously, this happens.]

 Blah, blah, blah... All I'm trying to say is- Enjoy this season.

I am writing this post mostly for myself,  because here I sit, in Virginia, in 60 degree weather, so mad I don't have snow. But how many Michigan winters did I wine and complain about the snow? Instead of spending my time complaining, I should have ran outside and made a freaking huge snow man while loving every second of it.That's just one example. Here's another one:

For the past three years, I complained about the South and small towns and how much I hated them. [Please take note of this: I still LOVE the North and fully intend on moving back. I am not a southerner or southern bell in anyway, shape, or form. I am NOT a Northern girl turning Southern. Got it?] But, the other day I was running super low on gas [college student] and I could only muster about $2.00 in change to put in my gas tank. [college student...you've all been there]. I went to pre-pay for my little bit of gas to get myself home and eat my Ramon noodles [college student] and there was line... of course I stood there with my hands on my hips, semi-rolling my eyes, clearly irritated that this was taking forever. [In the north people are so much more efficient.. I was thinking in my mind] When it was finally my turn to pay I gave the cashier my $2.00 in change.

"Is this all you got to put in your tank? Are you outta money?" He asked in a very thick and southern accent. Clearly embarrassed that he would announce to the entire store/world I was only buying $2.00 of gas I answered, "Yep, I'm a college student. I just have to drive to my house." Without any hesitation he told me he would add a $1.00 to my gas tank to make sure I would get home.

I know, a dollar isn't much, [college student] but the cashier didn't have to do that. I was pleasantly surprised and thanked him. He seriously made my day.

I think once I move away, I'll miss little things like that from good ole Lynchburg, VA. I'll miss people chatting in the middle of the grocery isle blocking the way for everyone else. I'll miss people asking me how I'm doing and then telling my about their sick niece while we are waiting in line. I'll miss people chatting in the drive through holding up the line making me late for wherever I am going. I will miss seeing people in old pick up trucks without shirts on, wearing overalls, with massive beards smoking a ginormous cigar... wait. I don't think I'll miss that one.

So, again, blah, blah, blah, all this too say here's to me- Enjoying. Enjoying this Christmas season, without snow, with snow, in the North, in the South, with gas, without gas.. no matter what it may bring, I will enjoy. 

Enjoy this Christmas season, enjoy this phase of life you are in. No matter what age, hardship you are in, frustration you are facing, or happiness that has knocked on your door- Enjoy. Because, most likely next years Christmas will look entirely different.

Discombobulated.

This week has been a strange one. Nothing really crazy out of the ordinary has happened, but it has seemed a little discombobulated. Do you ever feel like you are sitting still while everyone and everything is flying around you? Almost like you are in the eye of a hurricane, just sitting still while life whirls around ... I've felt like that this week. It has seemed like everyone is going and learning and changing and making decisions and having things happen. And I'm just watching.

If I could give my 'college years' underlining themes they would be: 

1. Even in your biggest life crisis... life will continue on, whether you want it too or not.
2. My plans are not the best and sometimes having no plans is best.

 The first three years of college, I was a go, go, girl! ( I still am to an extent) But, this semester has been SO different than any year of my life here. I work a 9-5ish job and have weeknights off. I am only taking 12 credits and next semester only 6! Now, for those of you who don't know, last year I worked full time at basically nights shift (7pm-2am) and took 22 credits, while being involved in extra things. So, this semester has sort of turned my life upside down. I love being busy, I love working; I love being dedicated to something. But, something that really sticks out in my mind when I look back to my busyness and accomplishments, something that I can't get over...back when I 'felt good' because I was doing so much, I had such a lack of focus on my spiritual aspect and my relationship with Jesus Christ.

For the years in my life when I thought, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was accomplishing goals, I was good at something, I could pass my classes with barely studying, I received a promotion at work, I had a boyfriend, I bought a car, I moved into my first apartment... I thought I was just living the life.

I cannot get over my self-focus through all those years. 

So, back to my themes.... 

I'm only 22. What sort of crisis can a 22-year-old girl be in, right? Well, I would argue a pretty big one. Through my two short years in the '20's' I've seen myself grow the most, lose the most, immature the most, become the most defeated, mature the most, and have the most victories. I can so happily say now, I am blessed enough, to overcome a more recent trial in my life. But, I think I am all too quick to forget the growth and learning that comes with brokenness. In my crisis I thought life would stop, I was certain my life would and time felt as if it stood still... but now, here I am, months and months later, moving forward, moving on. 

I can only attest to where I am now through the grace of my Lord. As time moved on, so did I. And as time moved on, God grasped hold of my heart... He had my full attention. Wherever you are in life, remember life goes on, life will keep moving, we can't stop it! God hasn't and won't give up on you. I hope that comforts you and inspires you to get a move as well. 

Next, my plans are not the best plans. They are not. Really, they are not! Since July I have been trying to plan for what will happen in May. [You can laugh at that, I know it is ridiculous] But, you know what, I have recently become okay with not knowing. Today I applied for Grad School at Liberty and I'm prayerfully considering many other options over the next few months. But, bottom line- I do not know what is going to happen, I have no idea, so what good is worrying about it?! Seriously, what good is that? It's not. I'm doing my utmost best, to wake up, and actively give God my day, because I know that is all I have. Why do I worry about my next rent bill? Or if my car breaks down? Or when I will get married? I've found enjoy every day, every moment, serve the Lord and he will bring you the next 'thing.' I did a good job of this last week, but this week I have been slowly taking each day back.. I recently became overwhelmed with decisions and choices and the next thing, I realized these thoughts are not for me to worry about. Serving Christ in the moment he has given us, in the situation where he put us in, matters. Someone said, I don't remember who, but, if we are faithful to God in the little things, he can trust us with the bigger things. So, while I am craving something new, something different, a new chapter, a job with more esteem, I need to remain faithful now to build habits for faithfulness later. And not having a plan causes me have faith God will provide the next thing. 

I've been saying the past couple of weeks, I feel like I am actually becoming a woman! :] I’ve started cooking more, cleaning more, and enjoying baking! But, with growth comes growing pains, and dealing with my immaturity and habitually sin filled lifestyle hurts. But understanding value in brokenness, I think is a sign of a woman. 

And I've noticed, I cry alot more. So, Fergie, you are so not right.. Big girls do cry. 

I hope some of this rambling encourages other twenty-something women out there, you don't have to have it all together, you don't have to have a plan, remain faithful now, serve the Lord now, and the next thing will fall into place. 

P.S. -- I recommend this book for all twenty something women...  'The Mature Woman.'  

Happy Almost Friday!

ENJOY!

This weekend was so much fun! I hiked up a mountain, I know, a freakin' mountain. And I cooked chicken! And green beans and mashed potatoes... nothing burned... although the potatoes did kind of explode... but, no one was hurt.. :]. I went to church and got a bunch of stuff done last night, I went to sleep feeling accomplished and ready for anything new.

And I woke up today thinking... I need to enjoy life more. I know I have blogged about this multiple times-- but I think that shows it is a continual left lesson for me. I get so caught up in the next thing, or what is new, what new goal can I accomplish this week, or what task will arise for me tomorrow. Gosh, it is EXHAUSTING.

I want to know what is going to happen with the rest of my life? I want to know if I should attend grad school? I want to know if I should move to a city or stay in a town? I want to know where God wants me next, I want to know who my spouse will be.... But, you know what, sometimes I think it is best if we don't know. That might be right where God needs us to be. Not knowing, for me, can produce anxiety or stress, when really, isn't not knowing the perfect time to demonstrate faith?

The only thing I do know, is that God has me here, right now, and that's all I have.

"Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away."

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Instead of sitting and thinking and planning and dreaming and wondering... I need to just stop, look at what I have in this moment and enjoy. Because, let's be real, if I don't start enjoying life now, I'm not sure I ever will. That's another thing I'm learning, practice good habits now, so you don't have to break bad habits later... but I'll leave that for a different post.

Enjoy your week!

-Hales

Christian Music Throwbacks

I'm not a big fan of Christian Music now. 

I was raised with the classics: 















After all that, I think Christian Music really went down hill...

But, I really like this song. Just a good reminder that with God's Grace we are free....



Also, If you use Pandora- Try the 'Enter the Worship Circle' station. Thanks Taylor Guffey! :]

Happy Tuesday!

10 little things to turn an everyday Fabulous... This might possibly be the most girlish post I have ever done. ever.

I am about a month into school and I am defiantly getting into my routine. I am a very planned person and I thrive best when I am on a schedule. [Check out the picture below] When my planner is the fullest and color coordinated... I am the happiest!

In the midst of our busy lives, I think, we get lost in the mundane of everyday. To live each day forgetting that each moment is unique, special, and a gift happens all to often in my life. So, here are a few little things that can make your everyday fabulous.

Cinnamon from Walmart

1. Cinnamon. With Fall and Winter right around the corner, cinnamon is a GREAT way to get in the seasons mood. Just mix a little cinnamon in with your coffee grounds.. and WALA! You have a super sweet drink to wake up to in the morning. It just makes coffee a little more fallish! And it is only $3.00! You know I love Starbucks, but lets get real, I can't offered a latte everyday!

Target

2. Candles. And not just for a little ambiance during a bubble bath... I burn candles ALL the time! When I wake up in the morning, I make my coffee, light some candles and prepare for my day. Why should you just enjoy a little candle light at night? I have a pumpkin and Cinnavilla candle in my room. They are from Target and they small so great AND they last forever.

BBW

3. Lotion. Before I leave my apartment I always put on hand lotion. I really believe lotion makes a difference in how great my day is! Having soft hands makes a difference, I swear! But, this is not just any lotion... Please tell me you have heard of Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy line! Well, I use the 'Stress Relief' sent... And I love it! Whether it really does relieve my stress.. I don't really care, I just know I feel so much better after I put it on!

Charlotte Russe

4 and 5. Sunglasses and Lip gloss. Once I get on the road I put on my ridiculously over sized sunglasses and happily drive over to work. I'm telling you, sunglasses will make you feel SO MUCH COOLER. And. lip gloss. Who doesn't love lip gloss? I just found THE BEST lip gloss at Target. Have you heard of ELF Cosmetics? They rock. Super cheap, super awesome quality.

Yes, it is $1.00.

 6. Gel Roller Pens. I am the 'Office Manager' at Liberty University Intramural Sports... Yeah, that's my super awesome title! Really, I take alot of phone messages, write memos, file paperwork and ect... But, let me tell you- how much more fun writing phone messages can be with these wonderful Gel Roller Pens. It's amazing how a much a good pen can make a difference in your everyday life! Staples delivers in one day, it really is SO easy.

7. Color. I do not recycle.. I know, I know. I must hate the earth. And I don't, I watched and LOVED Captain Planet. But, sometimes in an office you make too many copies, it is bound to happen. So, I decided to start using my too many copies as scrap paper. And here, we use many fun colors for our fliers- which means more fun colors for scrap paper. Also, who wants a boring yellow sticky note when you can have neon? Seriously. The extra color can make your day a little extra fabulous.

8. Surround yourself with people you love. I sit at a desk all day, why not take the moment to walk down memory lane? Surround yourself with pictures of places and people you love... You'll find inspiration as you work.








9. Mouse Pads. I think mouse pad are pointless, stupid and most of the time ugly... but I used mine as a way to add a little flare to my cubical. See? You can buy cute mouse pads at staples!














10. Not co-workers, Friends!  When you spend about 40 hours a week in an office, you need some friends. Sure you can have the casual cubical conversation. But, a way to make your day a little more fabulous, is make friends with your co-workers! I've made a long lasting friendship, here, at work, with Kristy! I look forward to seeing her at work in the morning, during lunch, and during my coffee breaks. I go into her office when I need a counseling session, or need to vent, and I miss her on the weekends! I don't have her picture, but here is her business card.. and sorry it is sideways... I think my iphone is tiered.. But, work would not be as fabulous without her!

Now, everyone go have a Fabulous Day!

I'm Sorry.

This week I have been tossing around the idea of forgiveness in my mind.
Forgiveness is interesting because it is so different in various situations. I was wondering what the 'better end of the deal is.' Is it better to be the one needing to get forgiveness, or the one asking for it?

I do not think there is a better side; when forgiveness is necessary, somebody was hurt.

With starting my job, I have learned alot about forgiveness among children. There is much 'saying sorry' and 'accepting an apology' going on. The funny part is, it is CONSTANTLY happening. The girls forgive each other and MOVE ON with the day. They genuinely forgive... they just go back to playing as if nothing ever happened. (I think in that is a major life lesson)

How often do we honestly 'accept an apology'? How many grudges do we hang on to? How much hurt do we allow to scar our hearts and lives? How much unnecessary baggage do we hang on to that’s haunting us?

Bottom line: We are ALL human, we will all make mistakes and we will all hurt somebody, somewhere, sometime. 

I know I have hurt people, deeply and I know I have been hurt; we all have been on both sides of this equation.

I think repentance within forgiveness is an aspect that is easily forgotten. We train kids to say sorry, but not that weaved in and out of forgiveness is the need to repent.  Through Christ, I have the freedom to live in grace and forgiveness…. But when hearing that I think…. really? I see a pattern of wrongs in my life; I'm not so sure I am truly repenting when I ask for forgiveness. Why? Well, because asking for forgiveness is much easier then repenting for my wrongs. So, then can I truly forgive and ask to be forgiven??

I've been convicted of needing to give forgiveness and ask for forgiveness. This search for forgiveness in love, grace and mercy creates a freedom that only the Lord can give and that my friend is a very happy ending!

Reaching a place of true repentance means you've reached a place where you can truly forgive. 

While mistakes happen, to everybody, I need to cling to the perfect forgiveness that Christ can give to such an imperfect and wretched person, like myself. 

I also think it is imperative for life, to grant forgiveness to yourself. This may be the most difficult aspect of forgiveness for me. We do not need to hang on to the guilt, remorse, regret and baggage in our lives. That will destroy us and rob us of truly living life. 

Yes, I may have made really terrible mistakes.

And yes, I will reap the consequences for my mistakes.

My personal value is not in the mistakes I have made, but how I respond when mistakes happen. 

My value comes from what someone else did, someone much more powerful then me. He is my worth. In him is my value.

It is my job to do my best to refrain from sinning. But then, responding in repentance to others and myself when mistakes happen.

Living in a lifestyle of forgiveness creates a truly significant, fulfilling and beautiful life.

Happy National Coffee Day!

As stressed as I am, I'm trying to remember to enjoy the little happiness that come complete with this adventure we call- life. So. Today I am taking the time to blog, and celebrate 'national coffee day'. Not on its own, of course, as a college student- I must do some studying as my celebrating continues. But- none the less. I am sipping a yummy Autumn Spice Latte from the White heart in little downtown Lynchburg.

I think this is seriously the BEST place to be celebrating today. The hardwoodfloors, (that creek) antique looking furniture, wooden bookshelves, and custom chalkboards make this prime coffee day enviorment for coffee lovers, like myself. Simply sitting at a table forces one to look around, and grasp the little details making the white heart worth visiting, and revisiting. The complete coffee ambiance is created and held within the walls of this place. 

As I sit enthralled with my delicious coconut muffin and autumn spice latte- I decided my favorite accessory that the white heart has. Hanging on the wall above one of the fireplaces is a picture of JRR Tolkien this is my favorite partly because I am a lord of the rings fan- i know, i know, but- it runs in my family- and partly because of the memories the picture has attached to it. 

My dad read LOTR when he was a teenager, and passed the epic story down to my siblings and I though reading each novel to us.  I remember gathering together in my older brother, Chander's room sitting and anxiously awaiting what predicament the small Hobbit and his pal Sam would find themselves in that night! Since I was rather young it was not often I listened into these stories. Give me a break, I could bearly understand Amelia Bedila let alone the concepts of Mortar, Hobbit, Elfs, wars, Orks and so on. The picture framed above this fireplace hanging in front of my eyes- is the same one that was on the back cover of the LOTR books my dad used when reading to us! 

 I remember that picture scared me. Seeing an older man, with a pipe, laughing at something in the distance- I'm not sure what it was- but his profile was forever and still is imprinted in my mind. I stopped listening to my dad read after I saw that picture. I do wish I wouldn't have now, but fear can control children easier then adults I guess. 

Anyways-Enjoy this national coffee day! If you are in Lynchburg, you still have time! Get to the whiteheart! I may still be here! :]. If you're not in the Burg. Go to one of your favorite places, get your favorite drink, and do one of your favorite things. Oh! Or bring some of your favorite people! (my boyfriends on the wayyyy! :]- He's one of my favorites.) 

Coffee is about savoring the flavor, and making sure the drink is just right. Well- Get the moment just right, and savor it. Enjoy today to the last drop. 

Happy to be back! 

-Hales 

Who should tell me I'm a Christian?

This summer I have really been struggling with the idea of Christianity. Yes, I am a 'Christian' but No, I don't want to be associated with most Churches, and Christian movements across the United States.

My mind has been filling up with so many questions towards 'Christian People' the past summer, I'm surprised my head has not exploded. Being highly involved in Christians circles for most of my little 21 years of existence, I have made a few observations. One is:

 Christianity is turning into a mere 'checklist' today. 
It's like this:

1. Did I pray and ask Jesus to come into my life? Yes. (CHECK!)
2. Do I pray before I eat? Yes. (Check)
3. Do I read my Bible? Yes. (Check)
4. Do I have the physical appearance that is required of a Christian? Yes. (CHECK)
5. Do I go to youth group and sing in the praise band? Yes. (CHECK!)
6. Have I gone on a short term mission trip? Yes. (CHECK)
7. Am I going to a Christian College? Yes. (CHECK)
8. Will I be involved in some sort of Christan leadership? Yes. (Check)
9. I'm SO going to be in heaven. (Check)

When will this list stop? And do those things truly make someone a 'Christian'?

I would like to think that God is so much more concerned with our lifestyle, and hearts. What our motives are, and what type of character we have. Instead of getting caught up in this idea of following the Christian 'checklist' that has been created by Christians- why don't we take the time to focus on our lifestyles? 

When looking at Christians I feel like so many people claim the name simply because its what they always have done, its what their parents did, and most of the time- its easy. And sure, when following a checklist, and having everyone around you pleased with the choices you are making- that's easy.

Stop. Right there. Get a stamp and place it on my forehead because 

I' M G U I L T Y . 

The other night I was sharing my thoughts with my dad. I was venting and going on and on about my frustration with Christians and the church, and how we always have to be so polite, and not cause conflict or make people uncomfortable. And the more we started talking, and the deeper the conversation became, I realized:

 I'm living in Fear of other people. 

 I grew up in a church, in a Christian Highschool, and now attend a Christian University, all of those institutions attract people caught up in the 'checklist'. Stepping back and reevaluating when i matured the most in my relationship with the Lord was when I could care less about what people thought about me. 

See? The checklist makes other's people opinions and thoughts about you determine where you are in your relationship with the Lord. When in fact, the Lord is the only one who knows your heart, and character.

My dad said this-- "You live out of fear of God, not fear of men."

I would argue there is no cookie cutter way to be a Christian. Of course, understanding and believing the Gospel is essential for anyone truly having a relationship with Christ. After that, its about the lifestyle in which a person lives. As Christians we have a 'law' to follow, and we have convictions we live by.
My Dad put it like this [he's better with these types of phrases]

'It's not my responsibly to obey God with what he said, its my responsibly to please God with my obedience..'

He also further explained the idea that, we will want to follow the commands and standards God has for us, but after you grow, you will want to go beyond merely following the law to please the Lord's heart. 

Instead of having a check list, instead of comparing ourselves to other Christians, instead of having our basses covered by not committing the 'big sins'- Live for one person. At the end of the day, when everyone is asleep, and i finally get into my car, roll my windows down, and listen to some over played pop song, I have started to ask myself this question:

What did I do today that attributed to the life of God?

That one question, asked every day, will evoke a lifestyle change and maintain the focus on the only person's opinion who matters. 

Goodness, glad I finally got all that off my chest. 

Happy Wednesday! :] 

FRiENDS.

Every summer vacation my family went to the upper peninsula of Michigan and the Brooks family came with us. Before it just seemed normal to me. I spent my summers with Ashleigh  running around trading stickers, and crashing four wheelers. Going to the U.P. was just what our family always had done. Then i learned that our parents had met and became friends at the very place we attended vacation!  

So the story goes: My mom (Ruth) roomed with Mrs. Brooks (Debbie). And my dad (Jerry) worked at that summer camp as well! Ruth and Debbie became friends after a few summers spent together in the kitchen, office and bookstore. Jerry and Ruth (after a bumpy road) eventually fell in love at that summer camp. Then Mr. Brooks (Joe) visited one week. Thus the love square began and each couple got married and still 30 years later spend there summers at that same lake.

Each summer vacation spent on Piatt Lake was one filled with bliss.Looking back on the memories Ashleigh and I made while being so called 'lakers' are some of the best memories of my life.  [Besides crashing the quad. that ones not so great]. My cousin, Katie's family came up a few summers as well. Katie and I would spend time crafting and writing plays. Then preform them charging admission fees of course! Katie joined me for part of the UP vacation and we laughed remebering memeories of the past.

Just being up there reminds me of all the childhood adventures i experienced, and almost brings me back in time. Since all of us kids have grown up we don't attend a month long vacation anymore.With all the kids leaving you would think that the parents would no longer see the need for a month long vacation, and late nights. But, oh boy do they ever! I hung out with the rents just enjoying there company and friendship for a week.Visiting them was one of the funnest adventures i went on this summer!

We played dominoes- and i kicked butt!

Even when the electricity went out, we played by candle light!

You could tell they had all been friends for years through how they talked to each other. Spending time with them made me excited to have family friends one day, and be all grown up together playing dominoes until 3 in the morning! 

Mr. Brooks and Dad.[[the goofballs]]

Mom and Mrs. Brooks [[The Party Planners!]] 

[[ 30 years and counting ]]

[[ Some of the Kid's. ]]

When leaving the beloved vacation spot I couldn't help but be so thankful for such a wonderful place to house my summer memories. My family has truly been blessed to have such dear friends and joyous memories.

i found this.

I remember writing this journal entry... the beginning of last summer. I came across it in my facebook notes- I published it June 20th 2009. Now I'm 21, and I have applied this lesson learned.

...and don't worry- I can work a can opener! Now, i just need to master the blender...

"..... It amazes me, how people can float through your life. Not really float, that makes it sound pleasant.. well yes, there are pleasant floaters of course… people who pleasantly come in and smile at you- the kind of person that you would go on a picnic with and laugh all day long. But, you never really connect with them, you never really try to influence each other. You just simply have fun… and when they are gone, its not a big deal. Because together you had so much simple, on the surface fun, or fluffy fun, not depth to your relationship whatsoever. . But, then there are the not floaters, in fact the opposite of floaters… I don’t even know what to label them. The…the… oak trees. Sounds silly yes. But they are planted in your life then, they grow.. it starts small… but they you make a connection, and you begin to grow higher and higher… then you start to sprout leaves, and then make memories like details along the bark. And tell secrets the size of acorns too each other. You become a place of safety to other people, and you just grow deeper and deeper in different friendships like the roots in the ground. Then eventually you are grounded in this idea of love. Depending on the amount of storms you go through together, you grow deeper and greener. Then you reach a point of security, an you become incredibly comfortable around each other. You can hang out with each other in the shade, and sit on each others grown out roots and tell stories and laugh together as the wind flies through your hair. Then one day, the whole gigantic oak tree, that has come and rooted itself in your life, the one you have made home, and grown to love… is ripped out. There you look. It’s gone. The big gigantic stationary object in your life has been removed. No more home to look at, no more shade to play in, no more secrets to share, or friendship to grow. All that is left is a big giant hole in the ground where your love once grew. A big giant hole. You try to fill it in, with pretty flowers, or things you like to look at. Or fill it in with more pleasant trees, like the dogwood. Dogwoods are pretty to look at, but you soon find out very thin a weak. There are no stories inside a dogwood, and no stories to tell about them. They are pretty, but one can look right through them. So there it is a big hole in the ground to remind you that something is missing. Something big is gone. This is the part where I am supposed to talk about how it will make you stronger. How having a hole in your life to fill in can be fun, you will find new things, and better trees to hang out and grow up with! There is so much more out there for you to discover—and now you can! No roots holding you down! No more love to fulfill. But, after a while of that tree being gone, you finally realize that there is nothing that will replace that big of a hole in your earth… you get scared. And you wonder. Will this hurt forever? Will I be without my giant oak tree forever? Yeah, sure maybe I will find one… but will the love ever run that deep? Will the roots of my life that were ripped from my heart ever heal? I have this big giant hole in my life and it seems like it will never be filled. The memories will never be able to be shared with someone else, and home… when I looked at the oak tree, I found home. I saw home, I was home. Will I find home again? The bark we had, was full of stories, was full of memories, and the acorns of secrets among us were beyond listing.


All I have now, is a big giant hole in my world. That feels like it will never be filled. And really, I truly believe apart of it won’t… deep down there will be a small acorn of secrets and a small piece of bark full of memories. Always...."

Being home has been a little on the funny//weird side for me. Thinking over the past year, just one year of my life- how many different people i have been in contact with. && its so strange, every person who has been in and out of my life- could be labeled- some are floaters, some are oak trees, some are dogwoods, and I'm sure that someone really smart out there has done a study, and maybe has more legit names for it. lol. But, really- sooo many people have come in and out of my life. and I know, that God has done that for a reason. Like, every person is walking on there map, and sometimes it intersects with others- and then later on in the map, the 2 lines will cross again, could be simply finding each other again on facebook, or having your kids in the same soccer league.... I hadn't journaled in forever, so i tired to pick it up again, i wrote this a looong time ago, and stumbled across it- and it reminded me of what I am experiencing right now.... but the most important thing now i am learning is, there are more oak trees out there- yes, different. and yes, you won't be able to share the same memories, but- there are more memories to make! There are more funny times to laugh at. there are more inside jokes to remember, and there is more. Life doesn't just stop- the world doesn't stop turning. your world just becomes different, and learning to find people to grow with, is the most important lesson i think i have learned this year. My life is SO drastically different then it was a year ago. But, different doesn't mean you give up, giving up old oak trees does;t mean you don't find new ones... Your world is just different, and you are growing up. Therefore, your world will change, and change should happen while you grow.


Growing up is so weird. ha. im 20, and i still can't work a freakin' can opener. :]. I still answer people that i am 18 when they ask! haha...