Friday, January 15, 2010

Long Lost Me.

Hellllo Blogger life. :]. Its been forever, and I think that is one f my biggest annoyances... if your gunna make a blog, keep a journal, write a book- then DO IT. So, I apologize to anyone else who would care about the time lapse between my last entry and this one.

I am currently blowing off studying for my Theo 202 test. This intensive is almost over.. I am really tying to push through till the end.. But, Im tiered.. and I cann't think anymore... Well- I can think, i just can't focus my thinking- which lead me here. to blog.

I am at my normal place- Panera.. Where my studying takes place. But, little does panera know that it, and the people who walk in and out of those doors, are the subjects in my blog.

So, maybe it is just me.. or maybe other people think this way. Or, maybe I am just weird.. which is quite possible. But, do you ever think about the people you come into day to day contact with.. or not even that, year to year, or once in a lifetime. That is what is strange to me.. Life is always moving forward-- never stops, never slows, never speeds up, time is time. and no human can control it. So, here I am. at little Panera in Lynchburg. and, there lies numerous different people sitting with me... eating a sandwich, catching up with an old friend, studying, working, thinking.. And, we all have one single aspect in common- life. We are all living... But, the very aspect that makes us all the same, can make us all very different... Life- as stated before- is always moving. So, where is everyone's life? As i look, a mother gently holds her very newborn baby, a young college student male sits alone, a gramma reads the paper, while a grandpa tries to figure out how to put a coffee lid on, the workers wiping tables, taking oreders, a son and mother catch up over lunch, two man discuss business plans via booth-tooth, and across from each other, 2 women find comfort in another, students are scarred staring and intently studying.. Now, not only does this come across as me as a creep- it makes me think. I have no idea where anyone's life is. What point of life people are at, what crossroad did the students just have to cross, what tragedy did the single male just overcome, what joyous occasion is next for the mother, what heartbreak is the gramma reading the newspaper dealing with, what memories are the women finding comfort in? ...these thoughts only leading back to me. What am I doing? Where am I going? What is my life about- when will my life take off? When will i soar never looking back? When does my life start, has it? Did I miss the beginning of the best years of my life? Or am I getting ready to make them. am I waiting for the go ahead? Who am I Waiting for? What do I want, where do I want to go, whats stopping me? I want to chase, run, fly, and eventually conquer life.

back to studying.

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