Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Warning: I use the phrase'Kick Ass' in this entry.

As we grow up we are always looking forward to the next step. I think it might be a girl thing. When I was in elementary school, I dreamed of high school... I was in high school and I dreamed of college. Now that I am finishing college, I cannot wait to be done and move along to a career! One common day dream for girls, are weddings. Now, some girls will deny it, but if they were honest they would admit to attending a wedding and while there comparing and brainstorming about your own. You know you do.

There are various reasons we all look forward to the next 'big things' in our lives. Maybe this part of life isn't as fun as we thought it would be. Maybe this phase is boring. Maybe the next phase is something we always dreamed about, or has more money... I'm not sure. But, I had an epiphany today... while day dreaming! 

I have always dreamed about being a kick ass wife. It's just a goal I've always had in mind. Since I am at Liberty... (The largest school in the world to support premature marriage, immature dating, and think rushing everything that has to due with relationships is a good idea) It has been a challenge to be surrounded by women and girls who are going to be wives, like by spring. So, naturally, day dreaming about becoming a wife happens.

So, then my epiphany... What would happen if, instead of dreaming about the next step, I took the time to prepare myself for the next stage of life? I day dream about my 5, 10, and 20 year plans coming true, (Yes, being a kick ass wife is on the 20 year plan) but the reality is they will never come true unless my heart is truly prepared for it.

So, Proverbs 31:
An excellent wife, [or kick ass wife] who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain. 
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight
She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”  
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates
My first thoughts:
  1. I should learn how to sew... right? I swear, she made everything. 
  2. If that passage sets the bar..I'm not ready to be wife.
  3. This is the definition of a kick ass wife... So, I have much work to do.   
To break it down:
  • Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. I am in a major turning point of my life, as are my fellow college colleagues. I have no idea where I will be a year from now. I am going to have to move and find a real job, and it all seems so very stressful and scary when I view it on my own. But, the kick ass wife can smile at her future. I can only think, the smiling happens because she has the strength of the Lord and she knows what she deserves (something dignified), this creates peace. God, will provide. All the empty future holds for me is a world of opportunity to see God provides. So, smile at it.

  • She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. How often do I open my too talkative mouth and say something SO unwise? I'll answer that, daily.  How often do I give unbiblical, worldly, selfish advice? Why am I not constantly encouraging all people I come into contact with? A kick ass wife does. She has the teaching of KINDNESS on her tongue?! The only teaching, I think, is on my tongue is sarcasm and the art of devaluing people.

  • She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. This one is my FAVORITE, because I was just thinking about it the other day. So, Facebook. Who has Facebook? Oh, everyone... even every one's grandparents, 1 year old cousins and household pets?!? Absurd... pets can't even type. Busybodies are a longstanding issue. "We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies.  Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat. 1 Timothy." So, women, don't lie, we do like to sit around when we have nothing to do and 'catch up' AKA: gossip. That is a busybody. Back in the day, people just spread it word of mouth... But now, with FACEBOOK-- it is SO much easier to be a busybody! Being a busybody does not even involve moving anymore! You and your friends can live in different states and sit on computers and be busybodies together, without even picking up the phone! (Thank you Facebook chat)  I am just picturing old school Israel with women walking around with their iphones on Facebook in the marketplace just gabbing away. (It is kinda funny to think about) That is NOT what a kick ass wife does... she is BUSY. She WORKS. She is a diligent, steadfast, and a hardworking women. The kick ass with does not have time for idleness. 
  • 'Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised' This verse is comfort but I think also a warning. Yes, it is nice to know that everything the world tells us we need or is valued, is honestly, meaningless... ie charm and beauty. That's a comfort. But, doesn't that put a whole bunch of pressure on your heart? It's really easy to pluck my eyebrows, dye my hair, put on make up, pay for fake breasts. But working on your heart, is hard. And painful. And not fun. And during the process you do NOT feel anymore beautiful. But, that's all God cares about. And that should be your husband's main concern for you. Fearing the Lord, and working on your heart will make you a kick ass wife.
So, as I ponder and dream about the next stage of life, kick ass wife hood (hopefully it is in there somewhere) I will prepare now. What's your next stage of life? Smile at it and then get prepared. I think that will make it all work out in the end.



  1. Haley - that was beautiful! What a WONDERFUL reminder to even us old marrieds!! Thank you! You are in our prayer rotation with our kiddos - we will continue to pray for direction, wisdome, strength, comfort, encouragement, and meaninful relationships for you! HUGS!

  2. This was so great! Um hello liberty like please stop encouraging 18 year olds to get married. it needs to stop. I completely agree about not being ready for marriage- im like all about me right now. There is no room to be selfish in marriage. And there is no way ill ever measure up to proverbs 31 so i think we can only try :) But wow this was a great reminder.