Monday, December 7, 2009


Around Christmas time everything seems to start.
Does anyone else feel that way?

Relationships seem to restart...everyone seems to love a little bit more then before.
Engagements happen, and that is just the start of many adventures.
People start dear friendships at silly Christmas sweater parties.
There is joy, and happiness. Things start, begin, take off...

But, it seems, i have the opposite sort of luck.
things end.

I don't mean to sound like a depresses 15 year old girl.
But, facts are facts. and Christmas time means relationships, for me, end.
Thats just my fate. And sometimes little fate makes me a little annoyed, aggravated and upset.
And, thats just silly cause, I don't even believe in fate.
I know, that God has a plan, and thats that. All things work together for good.
I just hate letting go. But, i think thats the theme of my life.

Letting Go.

Which is a good lesson to learn.
Cause, this world. We will let it all go.
everything I have, every relationship I have made, all of it- will be gone.
i don't get to keep anything I have here.

I just will have to learn to let it go.
So, i guess letting people go is all a part of it.

This semester is coming to a close.
I'm letting go of it.

let go. stand up. put one foot in front of the other. and walk forward. to the next stage of life I am going to have to let go.

This creates a barrier in my mind though.. If I know that I will have to let go, then why get attached?
Cause becoming attached just creates room for heartache when letting go.

Is life so cruel? That we should just walk through making friends and memories that will just break, shatter, and we have to let go of? So, all we are doing is walking around living in a moment of happiness to only create a never ending heartbreak, when life pulls us in separate ways. Is that it? Is that Friendship? Once people leave, it is never ever the same again.

But, then again, im never the same again. People are constanly growing changing, forming, learning.. well they should be.

But, then how does that guarantee a health relationship ever again, if I am always changing and learning, and growing, and i expect someone to do the same.. how do we remain compatible..?

Well, it obviously happens. look at my Grandpa and Grandma... 52 years of working it out.

I think i am out of thoughts to express.

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