HAPPY NEW YEAR! :] I know this is a tad on the late side... But I feel like I haven't had a second to breathe the past 2 weeks! Honestly, I feel like I should be doing 10,000 other things besides blogging- but I have a few things on my mind I want to hash out here.
So, 2011 is OVER. Done-zo. Finished. [I insert my yay here]. As my 2011 ended, I found myself in an Applebees
celebrating with a few waitresses and my friend, Monica. We discussed our past years,
made predictions of 2012 and may have bet a little bit of cash over the future
events of 2012. This past year was a crazy one for me [to say the least]. But as Monica and I reflected I found myself
saying "2011 was the best year of my
life." Monica seemed to be a little taken back by that and honestly I
was too. 2011 was difficult, embarrassing, a battle, complicated and so on.
But in that year I learned the best lesson of my life…
Throughout 2011 I struggled with two little words, guilt and baggage. I was
fixated on my past sins. I dwelled on them, frequently. I reflected on them, repeatedly.
I gave my sin so much more power in my life then they ever should have held. It
was almost like I clung to my mistakes and issues because letting them go was
letting go half of me.
I read an article
and I found this quote " I once heard it said that someone who
cannot forgive themselves for their past is not struggling with the sin of
guilt, but with the sin of pride." Then, I think it all hit me...
When it came to dealing with my personal sin, it was like I was too prideful
to think that someone else could handle it. Really?
Since when were my sins too big for God to forgive? Am I some royal sinner who
is too good for the blood of Christ? [OMG someone slap me in the face.]
How did I allow myself to live this way for an entire year? I lived most of
2011 blinded to God's forgiveness and stubbornly resisted the joy His grace brings.
I was being SO prideful when it came to my own SIN. I wanted to deal with it
myself, I wanted to make it go away myself, I wanted to confront it myself, I
wanted to handle it myself. [OMG someone slap me in the face, AGAIN]
Now, of course there are consequences to sin and stupidity. I'm not saying
forgiveness excuses the problems that sin creates. But I am saying I had no
excuse to live in guilt. I had no excuse to blame baggage for my problems. I am
forgiven and have been rescued by my Savior. And that my friends, is an awesome
way to bring in the New Year.
As I finally started to piece this all together, I found much comfort in Scripture
reassuring what I had been dealing with.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will
say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be
known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Be
anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true,
whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there
is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and
seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I
did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only
for a while— 9 I now rejoice, not that you were
made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of
repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so
that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. 10
For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation,
but the sorrow of the world produces death. 11 For
behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what
vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what
zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be
innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to
you, it was not for the sake of the offender nor for the sake of the one
offended, but that your earnestness on our behalf might be made known to you in
the sight of God. 13 For this reason we have been comforted.
2 Corinthians 7:8-13
Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it
yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching
forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on
toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
I have many New Year’s Resolutions I would LOVE to tell you about…. And I will.
But, right now, I need to get back to work. I just wanted to share this little
thought with you. While my sin is a never ending,
heart breaking, and reoccurring issue in my life- I have a Father who will always
forgive... I just need to get over myself and give it to Him. *sigh. :]
Happy, Joy-filled New Year to YOU!